“I genuinely didn’t believe it until I saw it with my own two eyes just how hard it is to find childcare that fully covers your working hours.”
Becoming a parent is simultaneously one of the most rewarding and terrifying life experiences a person can have. And try as you may, no matter how many books or blogs you read, there’s really no way to fully prepare for the ongoing reality of parenting. There’s always something you didn’t expect or account for, some surprise child-rearing delight or horror that catches you off guard.
Parents on X are sharing the one thing that most caught them by surprise about parenting and it’s a treasure trove of “What to Expect” wisdom and experience that might—might—help prospective or new parents feel a little bit more prepared.
The thread started off with @realgirl_fieri posing the question and sharing her own unexpected parenting plot twist. “What is one parenting thing that caught you completely by surprise?” she asked. “I was prepared for sleeplessness, tantrums, picky eating. But I genuinely didn’t believe until I saw it with my own two eyes just how hard it is to find childcare that fully covers your working hours.” — (@)
Other parents hopped right on in with surprises that run the gamut from food to sensory overload to kids’ hilarity.Let’s start with sleep. We all know to expect to be tired with babies, but until you’re in the thick of it with a baby who really doesn’t sleep well, you don’t know how life-altering it can be. There’s a reason sleep deprivation is used as a torture technique, after all. @Hardley76 @realgirl_fieri I spent 4 years with such severe sleep deprivation I was literally hallucinating. It’s actually the theme of the next thriller I’m writing. I was prepared for “tired” – I never imagined how much it would break me. Not enough support out there. 13 years later I’m still not over it — (@)
Some parents were taken aback by having less socialization than they expected.”Honestly, I thought I’d see my friends with kids more,” shared one mom. “My two best friends had babies when I did in 2022. I’ve seen each twice. I thought we’d be together all the time,” offered another.”I thought there would be more play dates,” agreed another. “Maybe we’re just not there yet, but with work, school, life it just doesn’t happen? Sometimes with my friends with kids but rarely with friends from school.”@sarahradz_ @realgirl_fieri My oldest friend has two little kids around my kids\u2019 ages, and the best we can do these days is like a 5 minute FaceTime whenever the stars align. Always interrupted by the kids talking to each other, then over within minutes \ud83d\ude2d — (@)
Some have been surprised by how true the stereotype of Mom always having her meal interrupted can be. When kids are little, it’s shocking how many times you find yourself getting up from the dinner table, even when you think you had everything ready to go. “The line from A Christmas Story resonates,” shared one commenter, “watching his mom getting up/down at dinner and Ralphie narrates ‘My mother had not had a hot meal for herself in 15 years.’”@clhubes @realgirl_fieri I have long thought this needs to be a SNL sketch bc it truly feels like the kids have perfect comedic timing with a new request every time my butt almostttt hits the chair! — (@)
And then there’s the not really getting to sit down at all part due to snacks, spills, finding things, breaking up fights, etc. And when you finally do sit, you immediately becoming a lap to sit on or a climbing apparatus.@IBD_AGatlin @realgirl_fieri Thissss. I was a nanny for almost 10 years before I had my daughter so I knew what I was in for. 4 years later and it\u2019s NOTHING like nannying. If I\u2019m sitting down, I\u2019m getting climbed on\ud83d\ude29 — (@)
Some parents were surprised by the number and variety of toys and the noise that came with them. “Nobody told me there would be so much smashing and crashing of toys,” wrote one parent. Others were amazed by how quickly you become overrun with toys even when you don’t buy any. It’s like they just appear out of thin air.Others offered up the out-of-left-field, unexpectedly-expensive need for berries. All the berries. So. Many. Berries. As one dad shared, “One of the most ernest pieces of advice I got from a friend with two toddlers was to never introduce your children to blueberries. They are so expensive and children will eat an unlimited amount. They will bankrupt you.”@throeingit @realgirl_fieri And strawberries, blackberries, bananas, grapes, raspberries, the list goes on\n\nI swear I\u2019m going to have to get a second job just to feed my kids berry habit — (@)
On the up side, kids can also be delightfully bright and rip-roaring hilarious right from the get go.@andeholmes @realgirl_fieri Yes! My brother was trying to get my son (6mo) to smile and asked me how I make him laugh. I very seriously said “oh just act like you are going to eat his hand, he thinks that’s hilarious” and my brother was confused then delighted when he tried it and my son laughed. \u2764\ufe0f\ud83d\ude02 — (@)
And then there’s the sheer relentlessness of it all and the constant space your beloved children take up in your psyche. “You’re never alone, never off duty, never just responsible for yourself, never just thinking about yourself and your wants/ needs,” shared one parent. “This is the one,” agreed another. “I haven’t been alone for any meaningful period of time in eight years.”Even if you manage to carve out some time for yourself, you’re never not thinking about your children in some part of your mind, and your parental instincts are always “on.”@osimonsays1 @realgirl_fieri Never 100% relaxed again is SO true. I think the only times I\u2019ve felt truly rested in the last 21 years has been when I\u2019m under anesthesia for surgery. And they wonder why I laugh and cry simultaneously like a bipolar hyena. — (@)
It’s good to share these things as parents so we know we’re not alone and so that people becoming parents aren’t totally blindsided. No matter how much people tell you, there will certainly be some things you still weren’t prepared for, so anything that makes prepping for parenting even a tiny bit easier is worth sharing.
The thread started off with @realgirl_fieri posing the question and sharing her own unexpected parenting plot twist.
“What is one parenting thing that caught you completely by surprise?” she asked. “I was prepared for sleeplessness, tantrums, picky eating. But I genuinely didn’t believe until I saw it with my own two eyes just how hard it is to find childcare that fully covers your working hours.”
Other parents hopped right on in with surprises that run the gamut from food to sensory overload to kids’ hilarity.
Let’s start with sleep. We all know to expect to be tired with babies, but until you’re in the thick of it with a baby who really doesn’t sleep well, you don’t know how life-altering it can be. There’s a reason sleep deprivation is used as a torture technique, after all.
Some parents were taken aback by having less socialization than they expected.
“Honestly, I thought I’d see my friends with kids more,” shared one mom. “My two best friends had babies when I did in 2022. I’ve seen each twice. I thought we’d be together all the time,” offered another.
“I thought there would be more play dates,” agreed another. “Maybe we’re just not there yet, but with work, school, life it just doesn’t happen? Sometimes with my friends with kids but rarely with friends from school.”
Some have been surprised by how true the stereotype of Mom always having her meal interrupted can be. When kids are little, it’s shocking how many times you find yourself getting up from the dinner table, even when you think you had everything ready to go.
“The line from A Christmas Story resonates,” shared one commenter, “watching his mom getting up/down at dinner and Ralphie narrates ‘My mother had not had a hot meal for herself in 15 years.’”
And then there’s the not really getting to sit down at all part due to snacks, spills, finding things, breaking up fights, etc. And when you finally do sit, you immediately becoming a lap to sit on or a climbing apparatus.
Some parents were surprised by the number and variety of toys and the noise that came with them. “Nobody told me there would be so much smashing and crashing of toys,” wrote one parent. Others were amazed by how quickly you become overrun with toys even when you don’t buy any. It’s like they just appear out of thin air.
Others offered up the out-of-left-field, unexpectedly-expensive need for berries. All the berries. So. Many. Berries.
As one dad shared, “One of the most ernest pieces of advice I got from a friend with two toddlers was to never introduce your children to blueberries. They are so expensive and children will eat an unlimited amount. They will bankrupt you.”
On the up side, kids can also be delightfully bright and rip-roaring hilarious right from the get go.
And then there’s the sheer relentlessness of it all and the constant space your beloved children take up in your psyche.
“You’re never alone, never off duty, never just responsible for yourself, never just thinking about yourself and your wants/ needs,” shared one parent. “This is the one,” agreed another. “I haven’t been alone for any meaningful period of time in eight years.”
Even if you manage to carve out some time for yourself, you’re never not thinking about your children in some part of your mind, and your parental instincts are always “on.”
It’s good to share these things as parents so we know we’re not alone and so that people becoming parents aren’t totally blindsided. No matter how much people tell you, there will certainly be some things you still weren’t prepared for, so anything that makes prepping for parenting even a tiny bit easier is worth sharing.
O Organics is the rare brand that provides high-quality food at affordable prices.
Over the past few years, rising supermarket prices have forced many families to make compromises on ingredient quality when shopping for meals. A recent study published by Supermarket News found that 41% of families with children were more likely to switch to lower-quality groceries to deal with inflation.
By comparison, 29% of people without children have switched to lower-quality groceries to cope with rising prices.
Despite the current rising costs of groceries, O Organics has enabled families to consistently enjoy high-quality, organic meals at affordable prices for nearly two decades. With a focus on great taste and health, O Organics offers an extensive range of options for budget-conscious consumers.
O Organics launched in 2005 with 150 USDA Certified Organic products but now offers over 1,500 items, from organic fresh fruits and vegetables to organic dairy and meats, organic cage-free certified eggs, organic snacks, organic baby food and more. This gives families the ability to make a broader range of recipes featuring organic ingredients than ever before.
“We believe every customer should have access to affordable, organic options that support healthy lifestyles and diverse shopping preferences,” shared Jennifer Saenz, EVP and Chief Merchandising Officer at Albertsons, one of many stores where you can find O Organics products. “Over the years, we have made organic foods more accessible by expanding O Organics to every aisle across our stores, making it possible for health and budget-conscious families to incorporate organic food into every meal.”
With some help from our friends at O Organics, Upworthy looked at the vast array of products available at our local store and created some tasty, affordable and healthy meals.
Here are 3 meals for a family of 4 that cost $7 and under, per serving. (Note: prices may vary by location and are calculated before sales tax.)
Few dishes can make a family rush to the dinner table quite like tacos. Here’s a healthy and affordable way to spice up your family’s Taco Tuesdays.
1. Cook the ground beef in a skillet over medium heat until thoroughly browned; remove any excess grease.
2. Add 1 packet of taco seasoning to beef along with water [and cook as directed].
4. Heat refried beans in a saucepan until cooked through, serve alongside tacos, top with cheese.
Busy parents will love this recipe that allows them to prep in the morning and then serve a delicious, slow-cooked stew after work.
1. Cook the ground beef in a skillet over medium heat until thoroughly browned; remove any excess grease.
2. Transfer the cooked beef to a slow cooker with the potatoes, onions, carrots and garlic.
3. Mix the tomato paste, water, salt, pepper, onion powder and Italian seasoning in a separate bowl.
4. Drizzle the mixed sauce over the ingredients in the slow cooker and mix thoroughly.
5. Cover the slow cooker with its lid and set it on low for 7 to 8 hours, or until the potatoes are soft. Dish out into bowls and enjoy!
This one-pan dish is for all Italian lovers who are looking for a saucy, cheesy, and full-flavored comfort dish that takes less than 30 minutes to prepare.
3. Add tomato paste, sauce and diced tomatoes to the skillet. Stir in water and bring to a light boil.
4. Add pasta to the skillet, ensuring it is well coated. Cover and cook for about 10 minutes, stirring occasionally.
O Organics tomato basil pasta sauce and extra virgin olive oil.via O Organics
There was a time when every other girl was named Ashley. That time has ended.
As we know, baby name trends are constantly changing. One generation’s Barbara is another generation’s Bethany. But it doesn’t make it any less odd when you suddenly realize that your very own name has suddenly made it into the “old and unhip” pile. And for many of us 80s babies…that time is now.
In a now-viral TikTok post, baby name consultant Colleen Slagen went through the top 100 girl names from 1986 to find which ones “did not age well” and were no longer ranked top 1,000 today. Such a descent from popularity would mark them as what she calls “timestamp names.”
Spoiler alert: what might be even more surprising than the names now considered old school are the names that are still going strong.
The first name that Slagen says is “officially out” is Heather. That’s right, not even cult movie fame could help it keep its ranking.via GIPHYOther extinct names include Erica, Courtney, Lindsay, Tara, Crystal, Shannon, Brandy and Dana. Tiffany, Brittany and Casey are also heading very much in that direction.“My name is Brandy. The Gen Z hostess at Olive Garden told me that she’d never heard my name before and it was so unique,” one viewer wrote.However, Andrea ranks “surprisingly high,” and Jessica, Ashley and Stephanie have survived…so far.Gobsmacked, one person asked “How is Stephanie still in there? I don’t think I’ve met a Stephanie younger than myself at 34.”But the biggest holdout still belongs to Jennifer. “She was a top 100 name all the way up until 2008. Round of applause for Jennifer,” Slagen says in the clip.@namingbebe Sorry Lindsay, Heather, and Courtney. #babynames #nametok #nameconsultant #girlnames #80skid #1986 #nametrend ♬ original sound – ColleenIf your name has found its way into relic of a bygone era status, fret not. Slagen, whose name also ranks out of the top 1000, assures it just means “we are creatures of the 80’s.”Of course, while we still have baby names that become incredibly common for extended periods of time (looking at you, little Liam and Olivia), the real contemporary trend is going for uniqueness. As an article in The Atlantic notes, for most of American history families tended to name their children after a previous family member, with the goal of blending in, rather than standing out. But now, things have changed.
Laura Wattenberg, the founder of Namerology, told the outlet that “Parents are thinking about naming kids more like how companies think about naming products, which is a kind of competitive marketplace where you need to be able to get attention to succeed.”But again, even with a keen eye on individualism, patterns pop up. “The same thing we see in fashion trend cycles, we see in names,” Jessie Paquette, another professional baby namer, told Vox. “We’re seeing Eleanor, Maude, Edith—cool-girl grandma names.” So who knows…give it time (or maybe just a pop song) and one of these 80s names could make a comeback.
The first name that Slagen says is “officially out” is Heather. That’s right, not even cult movie fame could help it keep its ranking.
Other extinct names include Erica, Courtney, Lindsay, Tara, Crystal, Shannon, Brandy and Dana. Tiffany, Brittany and Casey are also heading very much in that direction.
“My name is Brandy. The Gen Z hostess at Olive Garden told me that she’d never heard my name before and it was so unique,” one viewer wrote.
However, Andrea ranks “surprisingly high,” and Jessica, Ashley and Stephanie have survived…so far.
Gobsmacked, one person asked “How is Stephanie still in there? I don’t think I’ve met a Stephanie younger than myself at 34.”
But the biggest holdout still belongs to Jennifer. “She was a top 100 name all the way up until 2008. Round of applause for Jennifer,” Slagen says in the clip.
If your name has found its way into relic of a bygone era status, fret not. Slagen, whose name also ranks out of the top 1000, assures it just means “we are creatures of the 80’s.”
Laura Wattenberg, the founder of Namerology, told the outlet that “Parents are thinking about naming kids more like how companies think about naming products, which is a kind of competitive marketplace where you need to be able to get attention to succeed.”
But again, even with a keen eye on individualism, patterns pop up. “The same thing we see in fashion trend cycles, we see in names,” Jessie Paquette, another professional baby namer, told Vox. “We’re seeing Eleanor, Maude, Edith—cool-girl grandma names.”
So who knows…give it time (or maybe just a pop song) and one of these 80s names could make a comeback.
Towards the end of The Beatles’ illustrious but brief career, Paul McCartney wrote “Let it Be,” a song about finding peace by letting events take their natural course. It was a sentiment that seemed to mirror the feeling of resignation the band had with its imminent demise.
The bittersweet song has had an appeal that has lasted generations and that may be because it reflects an essential psychological concept: the locus of control.
“It’s about understanding where our influence ends and accepting that some things are beyond our control,” Jennifer Chappell Marsh, a marriage and family therapist, told The Huffington Post. “We can’t control others, so instead, we should focus on our own actions and responses.”
This idea of giving up control, or the illusion of it, when it does us no good, was perfectly distilled into 2 words that everyone can understand as the “Let Them” theory. Podcast host, author, motivational speaker and former lawyer Mel Robbins explained this theory perfectly in a vial Instagram video.View this post on InstagramA post shared by Mel Robbins (@melrobbins)“I just heard about this thing called the ‘Let Them Theory,’ I freaking love this,” Robbins starts the video.“If your friends are not inviting you out to brunch this weekend, let them. If the person that you’re really attracted to is not interested in a commitment, let them. If your kids do not want to get up and go to that thing with you this week, let them.” Robbins says in the clip. “So much time and energy is wasted on forcing other people to match our expectations.”“If they’re not showing up how you want them to show up, do not try to force them to change; let them be themselves because they are revealing who they are to you. Just let them – and then you get to choose what you do next,” she continued.The phrase is a great one to keep in your mental health tool kit because it’s a reminder that, for the most part, we can’t control other people. And if we can, is it worth wasting the emotional energy? Especially when we can allow people to behave as they wish and then we can react to them however we choose.
Stop wasting energy on trying to get other people to meet YOUR expectations. Instead, try using the “Let Them Theory.”
@melrobbinsStop wasting energy on trying to get other people to meet YOUR expectations. Instead, try using the “Let Them Theory.” 💥 Listen now on the #melrobbinspodcast!! “The “Let Them Theory”: A Life Changing Mindset Hack That 15 Million People Can’t Stop Talking About” 🔗 in bio #melrobbins #letthemtheory #letgo #lettinggo #podcast #podcastepisodeHow you respond to their behavior can significantly impact how they treat you in the future.It’s also incredibly freeing to relieve yourself of the responsibility of changing people or feeling responsible for their actions. As the old Polish proverb goes, “Not my circus, not my monkeys.”“Yes! It’s much like a concept propelled by the book ‘The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F**k.’ Save your energy and set your boundaries accordingly. It’s realizing that we only have “control” over ourselves and it’s so freeing,” 60DaysToLive2012 wrote.“Let It Be” brought Paul McCartney solace as he dealt with losing his band in a very public breakup. The same state of mind can help all of us, whether it’s dealing with parents living in the past, friends who change and you don’t feel like you know them anymore, or someone who cuts you off in traffic because they’re in a huge rush to go who knows where.The moment someone gets on your nerves and you feel a jolt of anxiety run up your back, take a big breath and say, “Let them.”This article originally appeared on 3.4.24
This idea of giving up control, or the illusion of it, when it does us no good, was perfectly distilled into 2 words that everyone can understand as the “Let Them” theory. Podcast host, author, motivational speaker and former lawyer Mel Robbins explained this theory perfectly in a vial Instagram video.
“I just heard about this thing called the ‘Let Them Theory,’ I freaking love this,” Robbins starts the video.
“If your friends are not inviting you out to brunch this weekend, let them. If the person that you’re really attracted to is not interested in a commitment, let them. If your kids do not want to get up and go to that thing with you this week, let them.” Robbins says in the clip. “So much time and energy is wasted on forcing other people to match our expectations.”
“If they’re not showing up how you want them to show up, do not try to force them to change; let them be themselves because they are revealing who they are to you. Just let them – and then you get to choose what you do next,” she continued.
The phrase is a great one to keep in your mental health tool kit because it’s a reminder that, for the most part, we can’t control other people. And if we can, is it worth wasting the emotional energy? Especially when we can allow people to behave as they wish and then we can react to them however we choose.
Stop wasting energy on trying to get other people to meet YOUR expectations. Instead, try using the “Let Them Theory.” 💥 Listen now on the #melrobbinspodcast!! “The “Let Them Theory”: A Life Changing Mindset Hack That 15 Million People Can’t Stop Talking About” 🔗 in bio #melrobbins #letthemtheory #letgo #lettinggo #podcast #podcastepisode
How you respond to their behavior can significantly impact how they treat you in the future.
It’s also incredibly freeing to relieve yourself of the responsibility of changing people or feeling responsible for their actions. As the old Polish proverb goes, “Not my circus, not my monkeys.”
“Yes! It’s much like a concept propelled by the book ‘The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F**k.’ Save your energy and set your boundaries accordingly. It’s realizing that we only have “control” over ourselves and it’s so freeing,” 60DaysToLive2012 wrote.
“Let It Be” brought Paul McCartney solace as he dealt with losing his band in a very public breakup. The same state of mind can help all of us, whether it’s dealing with parents living in the past, friends who change and you don’t feel like you know them anymore, or someone who cuts you off in traffic because they’re in a huge rush to go who knows where.
The moment someone gets on your nerves and you feel a jolt of anxiety run up your back, take a big breath and say, “Let them.”
The stray pup’s smelly, itchy skin condition didn’t stop Rocky Kanaka from scooping the sweet girl into his arms.
Katie’s had a rough life so far, but she’s starting to get the care she needs.
When Rocky Kanaka first met Katie, a scruffy beige Australian Shepherd mix, he thought she was a senior dog. As it turned out, the shelter pup was only about a year old. She had just been found by a good samaritan as a stray, her fur and skin in terrible shape, her paws swollen and her spirit muted. She didn’t even want to look at Kanaka when he first entered the kennel to sit with her.
That all changed as he took the time to sit with her and earn her trust. Kanaka has gained a huge following on YouTube with his videos sitting with shelter dogs, and his way with them is truly inspiring. He brings his own home-baked treats and a huge amount of patience and compassion, helping abandoned animals learn that humans can be kind and caring companions.
Katie is one of many dogs Kanaka has visited, and her behavior in the kennel showed him that she hadn’t had much of a chance in her short life to learn how to be a dog.
For instance, when Kanaka offered her a stuffed unicorn to play with, she didn’t know what to do with it. He tried a squeaky toy, which she also didn’t know what to do with and found overwhelming after a few squeaks. She took Kanaka’s treats, but not immediately and not in the way a dog who understands the concept of treats would.But throughout the video, the stray pup responded to Kanaka’s affection and love by melting right into it. She even wanted to sit in his lap toward the end, but didn’t seem to know how. Kanaka scooped her up, despite the foul smell her skin condition created, and it’s clear that this pupper just loves being loved. Watch:It’s hard for animals with obvious health issues, especially something as visible as a skin condition that makes them look and smell bad, to attract people looking to adopt. But by taking half an hour to get to know her, Kanaka helped us all look past all that and see Katie’s sweet spirit shine through.So many people fell in head over heels for Katie through this video:”OMG, The person who gets her will have the best dog as she is so obviously starved for affection and so willing to give it back ten fold.””That dog doesn’t have an aggressive bone in her body. she was instantly ready for you to pet her.””Her little tail wag broke my heart for what’s she’s been through but also lifted my spirits that she has a strength to survive and become a loved family member.””It’s shocking how neglected she looks but her desire to be loved is so strong. She’s going to bring such joy to her forever home.””I consider myself somewhat of a tough guy…. I’m from the streets, had a crazy hard life, i did 9 yrs in prison, seen it all, done it all and ain’t scared of nothing… I’m telling you that because in spite all that, when i see videos like this, i start crying like a 5 yr old girl…Goes to show you that what life has done to them, we can relate, and we see it in animals that have been hurt by others and part if me wants to knock out someone that would hurt a dog or kitty like that. Animals bring out the love and compassion we’ve forgotten because we know they’re teaching us what we definitely need to learn. What is truly considered, unconditional love….”Rocky Kanaka’s work with dogs is both inspiring and informative, and he’s succeeded in helping so many dogs find forever homes instead of languishing in shelters because they don’t make the best first impression. Not long after this video aired, Katie was rescued and will hopefully continue to get the tender care and kindness she deserves.Follow Katie’s journey on Kanaka’s website here. You can also follow Rocky Kanaka’s channels on YouTube, TikTok and Instagram.
For instance, when Kanaka offered her a stuffed unicorn to play with, she didn’t know what to do with it. He tried a squeaky toy, which she also didn’t know what to do with and found overwhelming after a few squeaks. She took Kanaka’s treats, but not immediately and not in the way a dog who understands the concept of treats would.
But throughout the video, the stray pup responded to Kanaka’s affection and love by melting right into it. She even wanted to sit in his lap toward the end, but didn’t seem to know how. Kanaka scooped her up, despite the foul smell her skin condition created, and it’s clear that this pupper just loves being loved.
It’s hard for animals with obvious health issues, especially something as visible as a skin condition that makes them look and smell bad, to attract people looking to adopt. But by taking half an hour to get to know her, Kanaka helped us all look past all that and see Katie’s sweet spirit shine through.
“OMG, The person who gets her will have the best dog as she is so obviously starved for affection and so willing to give it back ten fold.”
“That dog doesn’t have an aggressive bone in her body. she was instantly ready for you to pet her.”
“Her little tail wag broke my heart for what’s she’s been through but also lifted my spirits that she has a strength to survive and become a loved family member.”
“It’s shocking how neglected she looks but her desire to be loved is so strong. She’s going to bring such joy to her forever home.”
“I consider myself somewhat of a tough guy…. I’m from the streets, had a crazy hard life, i did 9 yrs in prison, seen it all, done it all and ain’t scared of nothing… I’m telling you that because in spite all that, when i see videos like this, i start crying like a 5 yr old girl…Goes to show you that what life has done to them, we can relate, and we see it in animals that have been hurt by others and part if me wants to knock out someone that would hurt a dog or kitty like that. Animals bring out the love and compassion we’ve forgotten because we know they’re teaching us what we definitely need to learn. What is truly considered, unconditional love….”
Rocky Kanaka’s work with dogs is both inspiring and informative, and he’s succeeded in helping so many dogs find forever homes instead of languishing in shelters because they don’t make the best first impression. Not long after this video aired, Katie was rescued and will hopefully continue to get the tender care and kindness she deserves.
Follow Katie’s journey on Kanaka’s website here. You can also follow Rocky Kanaka’s channels on YouTube, TikTok and Instagram.
We all know on some level that no marriage is without its issues. But in this highlight-reel-only modern day existence, it can be easy to feel like every other couple is completely squabble-free.
So, in case you need a reminder that every marriage does, in fact, have its problems, and the research to prove this doesn’t cut it—read on.
A Redditor recently asked happily married couples: “What are some serious issues that have plagued your otherwise great relationship?”
As you can guess, these happy couples still had conflict around common subjects like money, intimacy, and communication. But even with their issues, these partners still consider their relationships as healthy. That’s saying something.
Here are 12 “serious issues” that even happy marriages continue to face:
1.“Neither of us have many friends so we rely on each other to meet too many of our needs”. -howyafeelinSolemn looking couple. Photo credit: Canva“I feel like people who say “oh but that’s okay because your spouse should be all you need” don’t understand how much pressure that puts on both partners. No one person can or should be your everything.” -Square-Raspberry560And on the opposite side of the spectrum, we have…2. “Not enough time for ourselves.We both have big families and friend circles. If we are not seeing my friends, we are seeing her friends. If we are not seeing her family, we are seeing my family.This is on top of working long hours and being fairly introverted to boot.We have to schedule dates and ‘alone time’ so we can recover.Honestly, I couldn’t imagine managing all this with anyone else and I am so thankful for her.” -Shahfluffers3. “The hardest things have ever been for us was when we let others dictate our relationship. My mom was always an enemy of our relationship, and her sister was always against us. As soon as we stopped letting them have opinions on us, our lives became infinitely better.” -TitularFoilWoman ignoring her in-lawsPhoto credit: Canva4. “No longer a pain point, but is a good reminder: just talk, don’t internalize your stresses/fears/etc. All that happens when you hold things in is that vacuum is filled with assumptions that benefit neither you or your spouse.” -Avamedic“This!! I suffered a panic attack 2 weeks ago because I was keeping everything inside me. Once I told my wife everything I had in my head, suddenly it felt really silly that I was keeping it inside. Should have talked more from the beginning.” -MikePap5. “Different sex drives.”-quivalent-Ad844Couple in bedPhoto credit: Canva“Yep -I’ve experienced both being the partner with a lower sex drive and, more recently, being the one with the higher sex drive.Both were extremely difficult on our relationship and have been some of the most vulnerable and sensitive times for either of us.” -Rubinovyy176. “Kids put an incredible amount of stress on a relationship.” -inkyblinkypinkysueParents having a talk with their child. Photo credit: Canva“Parenting styles I feel like is something that is never discussed. It’s always “do you want kids?” It’s never “how do you plan on handling xyz when it comes to kids”. I’m currently trying to navigate this with my husband. I have to constantly be the bad cop because he will cave to the meltdown which requires me to do double duty trying to undo any enabling. It’s exhausting at times.” -ZolaMonster7. “My husband has a serious phone addiction. He’s always on it, whether it’s in the bathroom, to in bed, movie night just the two of us, during meals. We can’t even eat out without him having to check his phone (for social reasons, not even work related reasons). I’ve discussed this with him multiple times and it’s in one ear out the other.” -ieatnoodlesw_sticksMan with cellphonePhoto credit: Canva8. “Holidays. My wife’s parents are divorced so we have 3 different families we’re trying to please PLUS our own. So basically whenever Christmas comes around, we need to find time to celebrate for ourself, my parents/siblings, her dad, her mom/grandma. It’s such a pain having to schedule early holidays and traveling all over the state to visit everyone.” -AFunkinDiscoBall9. “Money money money money MONEY….MONEEEEYYYYYYYYY.” -JnyBlkLabelCouple with billsPhoto credit: Canva“For us, not just money itself, but differences in attitudes toward it. We were raised differently and value it differently. We’re in agreement that neither of our viewpoints/attitudes is inherently right or wrong (regarding money or any of the other ways we were raised differently), but it does cause tension. I’m more of a saver and she’s more of a spender, which causes conflict especially when I’m the higher earner. Sure, I like shiny things too, but I also like my money to buy security and early retirement. I think there’s a happy medium somewhere.” -PoisonWaffle310.“Endometriosis. My wife had stage 4 Endo, which seriously affected her mood, my mood, our sex life, intimacy, and countless other small things. She had her first surgery in 2015. That helped for 8 months but it slowly came back. She then went UNDER for her second surgery in 2021 they got in there and realized it was too serious for this specific doctor (it covered her bladder, bowels, and other major organs). So she had to go through the recovery of a surgery while not actually getting any benefit. She was then referred to a specialist doctor, one of Canadas best. But the wait time was 1.5 years.We hung on…and went through some rough times….But she finally had her surgery in June 2023, a full hysterectomy, and total cleanout of endometriosis…..and she’s feeling incredible! Endometriosis is awful. She was such a trooper, and we are now doing incredible. :)” -ActivE__Woman with endometriosisPhoto credit: Canva11.“Stubbornness. You CANNOT be stubborn in a marriage. You must be able to give, take, be self aware of your giving and taking, and be able to communicate about the nature of each others gives and takes.” -rippa7612. “Deciding what the heck is for dinner every night !” -Main-Jelly-8589Bottom line: though of course being able to navigate conflict is integral to every successful marriage, avoiding it entirely is impossible. So if you and your significant other can never seem to “get over” that one nagging problem…you’re not alone. And you’re not doomed.
1.“Neither of us have many friends so we rely on each other to meet too many of our needs”. -howyafeelin
“I feel like people who say “oh but that’s okay because your spouse should be all you need” don’t understand how much pressure that puts on both partners. No one person can or should be your everything.” -Square-Raspberry560
2. “Not enough time for ourselves.We both have big families and friend circles. If we are not seeing my friends, we are seeing her friends. If we are not seeing her family, we are seeing my family.This is on top of working long hours and being fairly introverted to boot.We have to schedule dates and ‘alone time’ so we can recover.Honestly, I couldn’t imagine managing all this with anyone else and I am so thankful for her.” -Shahfluffers
3. “The hardest things have ever been for us was when we let others dictate our relationship. My mom was always an enemy of our relationship, and her sister was always against us. As soon as we stopped letting them have opinions on us, our lives became infinitely better.” -TitularFoil
4. “No longer a pain point, but is a good reminder: just talk, don’t internalize your stresses/fears/etc. All that happens when you hold things in is that vacuum is filled with assumptions that benefit neither you or your spouse.” -Avamedic
“Yep -I’ve experienced both being the partner with a lower sex drive and, more recently, being the one with the higher sex drive.Both were extremely difficult on our relationship and have been some of the most vulnerable and sensitive times for either of us.” -Rubinovyy17
6. “Kids put an incredible amount of stress on a relationship.” -inkyblinkypinkysue
“Parenting styles I feel like is something that is never discussed. It’s always “do you want kids?” It’s never “how do you plan on handling xyz when it comes to kids”. I’m currently trying to navigate this with my husband. I have to constantly be the bad cop because he will cave to the meltdown which requires me to do double duty trying to undo any enabling. It’s exhausting at times.” -ZolaMonster
7. “My husband has a serious phone addiction. He’s always on it, whether it’s in the bathroom, to in bed, movie night just the two of us, during meals. We can’t even eat out without him having to check his phone (for social reasons, not even work related reasons). I’ve discussed this with him multiple times and it’s in one ear out the other.” -ieatnoodlesw_sticks
8. “Holidays. My wife’s parents are divorced so we have 3 different families we’re trying to please PLUS our own. So basically whenever Christmas comes around, we need to find time to celebrate for ourself, my parents/siblings, her dad, her mom/grandma. It’s such a pain having to schedule early holidays and traveling all over the state to visit everyone.” -AFunkinDiscoBall
“For us, not just money itself, but differences in attitudes toward it. We were raised differently and value it differently. We’re in agreement that neither of our viewpoints/attitudes is inherently right or wrong (regarding money or any of the other ways we were raised differently), but it does cause tension. I’m more of a saver and she’s more of a spender, which causes conflict especially when I’m the higher earner. Sure, I like shiny things too, but I also like my money to buy security and early retirement. I think there’s a happy medium somewhere.” -PoisonWaffle3
10.“Endometriosis. My wife had stage 4 Endo, which seriously affected her mood, my mood, our sex life, intimacy, and countless other small things. She had her first surgery in 2015. That helped for 8 months but it slowly came back. She then went UNDER for her second surgery in 2021 they got in there and realized it was too serious for this specific doctor (it covered her bladder, bowels, and other major organs). So she had to go through the recovery of a surgery while not actually getting any benefit. She was then referred to a specialist doctor, one of Canadas best. But the wait time was 1.5 years.We hung on…and went through some rough times….But she finally had her surgery in June 2023, a full hysterectomy, and total cleanout of endometriosis…..and she’s feeling incredible! Endometriosis is awful. She was such a trooper, and we are now doing incredible. :)” -ActivE__
11.“Stubbornness. You CANNOT be stubborn in a marriage. You must be able to give, take, be self aware of your giving and taking, and be able to communicate about the nature of each others gives and takes.” -rippa76
12. “Deciding what the heck is for dinner every night !” -Main-Jelly-8589
Bottom line: though of course being able to navigate conflict is integral to every successful marriage, avoiding it entirely is impossible. So if you and your significant other can never seem to “get over” that one nagging problem…you’re not alone. And you’re not doomed.
As far as handmade Mother’s Day gifts go, this might be the sweetest idea ever.
To celebrate mom’s first Mother’s Day ever, a newborn named Olivia and her Golden Retriever Lady created a painting using blackberries for “ink.”
He then embellished the image with hand painted flowers, along with artfully writing Olivia and Lady’s name.He even dressed the two in perfectly matching purple outfits. Nice one dad. As for the inspiration behind the blackberry ink, credit apparently belongs to Olivia, who gave dad the idea “when she stained her dress” eating them.Still, folks in the comments section rightfully praised dad for this amazingly thoughtful and creative gift.“This is the best and cutest Mother’s day gift,” one viewer wrote. “The way I would cry,” wrote another. Watch for yourself. As the caption suggests, it is “berry cute indeed.”@ladyandtheblues Berry cute, yes🥹🫐? Olivia gave me this idea when she stained her dress eating blackberries🐶💜👶🏻 #babyanddog #mothersdaygift #sisters #dogsofttiktok ♬ Somewhere only we know cover – SofíaThe overwhelmingly positive response to this video show not that simple, yet sentimental gifts can make a huge impact—particularly for new moms who might want a memento of this fresh chapter.And this idea is so easy to customize. Instead of blackberries, you could use a fruit ink or non toxic pain in mom’s favorite color, or buy jewelry with both baby and pup’s birthstones in it. Even a nicely framed photo is a nice touch. But please, if you can, arrange matching outfits for the day. Cause how freaking adorable is that?
He then embellished the image with hand painted flowers, along with artfully writing Olivia and Lady’s name.
He even dressed the two in perfectly matching purple outfits. Nice one dad.
As for the inspiration behind the blackberry ink, credit apparently belongs to Olivia, who gave dad the idea “when she stained her dress” eating them.
Still, folks in the comments section rightfully praised dad for this amazingly thoughtful and creative gift.
Watch for yourself. As the caption suggests, it is “berry cute indeed.”
The overwhelmingly positive response to this video show not that simple, yet sentimental gifts can make a huge impact—particularly for new moms who might want a memento of this fresh chapter.
And this idea is so easy to customize. Instead of blackberries, you could use a fruit ink or non toxic pain in mom’s favorite color, or buy jewelry with both baby and pup’s birthstones in it. Even a nicely framed photo is a nice touch.
But please, if you can, arrange matching outfits for the day. Cause how freaking adorable is that?